Bunkers and Badasses (With Badasses)
by BitterRenegade
Summary: It all started during character creation, when the assassin decided to play as the mechromancer and the mechromancer decided to play as the assassin.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: I had to. I had to.  
Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own. Probs never will._

~*~  
Bunkers and Badasses (With Badasses)  
Chapter 1: Character Creation  
~*~

Walking down the road of Sanctuary towards the City Archives, I awkwardly held the invitation Tina had somehow sent me in my hands.

_Gaige Gaige Gaige  
We should hang out more.  
you make robots, i make bombs.  
you got cute pigtails, i got cute pigtails.  
you killed one of your classmates and i think it's  
really funny that you killed one of you classmates.  
Scientificmally i decided we should be best friends  
five ever. which brings me to the letter you're  
readin: i'm hostin a Bunkers & Badasses party  
and i made this present just for youuu! and I hear  
you're super into that stuff (bein the discerning lady  
of ultraviolence that you are, naturalmente).  
So lets hang out and swap stories about making  
people explode. It'll be greeeeat yaaay_

_-Tina_

Sighing loudly, I jumped when I realized that Zero stood behind me, reading my invitation over my shoulder "Zero! You got invited to this too?" I asked him, hastily shoving the paper into my bag and smiling up at the man.

He held up his invitation "It seems that Tina  
Wishes for us all to play  
So I have come, too."

"What'd she write in yours?" I asked him curiously.

**"…"**

"If that's all she wrote I'm surprised you knew where to go."

**":)"**

Sighing once more, I gestured ahead of me "After you, then. Think everyone else is going to play too?"

"I believe so, yes." The ninja replied simply, walking ahead of me and into the archives. Almost instantly we were greeted by the lively child, who jumped around me gleefully.

"Gaige! Gaige! Gaige!" The little girl cheered, her peppy attitude causing me to smile with her.

"Hey Tina," I greeted "So... what's up?"

She pouted up at me "You guys are LATE! Everyone else is already making their characters… But at least you brought my favourite man-lady-alien-paper-hungry roboto-whateva here! GOOD JOB BESTIE."

I snickered, glancing up at Zero "Is that what was written?" I asked him, the ninja sighing and nodding.

"I do not eat paper." He stated dryly as Tina grasped my hand and pulled me in the direction of the stairs.

"Come on come on come on!" The thirteen-year-old chanted, ignoring Zero's words as she led me towards the others. I looked over at Zero apologetically, shrugging.

At the top of the stairs, I waved at the other vault hunters who seemed to be very… into their character creation.

Since all of the character models looked exactly like us.

"Um…"

Maya cut me off "If you're going to ask how she got these miniatures… She has connections."

"I think it's cool." Axton grinned "I'm playing myself."

Tina scowled "All you fools are playing yourselves."

At her words, Zero picked up the miniature of me, a smile appearing on his mask "I will play as Gaige,  
If it makes you feel better.  
It shouldn't be hard."

"Wait what?" I glared at the assassin "Why can't I play me?"

"Gaige come onnnnn." Tina whined "You can play Zero!"

Looking at her hopeful face, I sighed in defeat.

"Fine. I'll play as Zero."


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Woke up with enough reviews and favourites and followers to convince me to write another chapter. XD Thanks guys, you're the best. CONTINUE TO SUPPORT ZAIGE BY SUPPORTING MY STORIES! (Because pretty much all my Borderlands stories are Zaige or can be seen as Zaige. xP)_

_Disclaimer: Gearbox owns Borderlands and all characters, but one day...  
Mwahahaha?_

~*~  
Bunkers and Badasses (With Badasses)  
Chapter 2: Rolling Initiative  
~*~

"ROLL FOR INITIATIVE SUCKAS!" Tina shouted, thowing the dice across the table. We'd begun our first encounter, against a group of skeletons (Tina called them skelemens, which I found adorable). As everyone passed the set around, rolling, I glared over at Zero. Realizing what I was doing, the ninja looked over at me with a smile on his mask.

"Zero." He greeted, trying to be 'in characterz' as Tina had called it. His poor attempt made me smile.

"If you're going to pretend to be me, you're going to have to talk more." I told him, to which he snorted.

"Then you should start talking in haiku." He told me easily, causing the others to begin paying attention. Well, others minus Krieg, who only ever seemed to pay attention to Maya.

"Ok then…" I thought hard "Gaige, you're so awesome.  
a million times better than… Oh wait, damn it!" I grumbled "How do you do this anyways?" I asked the ninja seriously.

"**:D"**

"Zero!"

"Stay in character, _Zero._" The ninja replied almost gleefully "And I know I'm awesome, thank you."

"Fine, _Gaige_." I grumbled. Finally the dice had reached me. Rolling it, I groaned in frustration.

I rolled a 1.

The real Zero got the dice next, rolling a 20.

This was going to be a long game.

"Ok so you're going first!" Tina stated, pointing at Zero "And then Krieg, then Salvy, then its enemies one and three, and then Maya and then enemy five…"

The blonde girl continued on, before finally telling me that I'd be fighting last.

"As a minor action I'll summon Deathtrap," Zero started, placing the Deathtrap figurine onto the board next to him "And then I attack the nearest skeleton."

Leaning over, I wrote down a note on his character sheet.

_-I'd call them skelemens_

He turned his mask to look at me slightly, and I could practically feel his amusement as he corrected himself "Skelemen, I mean."

I grinned, Maya speaking up "I'm never going to get used to hearing Zero speak normal sentences."

"LADY! That be my bestie _Gaige_ speaking in normal sentences. SUPPORT THE CHARACTERIZATIONZ!" Tina piped up, "CRITICAL HIT! The first skelemen DIES! AHAHAHAHHAHAA!" Right after that the girl calmed down, turning to look at Krieg "Your turn!"

Krieg looked around the board, picking up his piece "GRIND GRIND GRIND. KILL KILL KILL!" He screamed, bashing one of the enemy pieces with his miniature.

"DON'T BREAK MY MINIATURES!" Tina screeched.

"NIPPLE SALADS!"

I cringed, "Uh oh."

"Krieg. Don't." Maya said simply, and the psycho instantly stopped.

"Thank you fine lady." Tina grinned "Hit! The next skelemen falls!"

"My turn!" Salvador cried, rolling the dice "EVERYTHING MUST DIE!"

The battle continued, Salvador killing another skelemen and the skelemens targeting Axton, Maya killing a skelemen, Tina targeting Axton even more… and then Axton went before me.

He rolled a 20.

"Miss!" Tina announced.

"What?!" Axton grumbled "But-"

"I am the bunker master and what I say GOES!" Tina cackled "You MISS."

"Brat." The commando grumbled under his breath, getting elbowed in the ribs by Maya.

"Shush." The siren told him "If you want the game to be fair you shouldn't call Tina names."

I smiled at them, Tina announcing that it was now my turn. I'd spent the longest time thinking about haiku's for me to say.

"I backstab this one," I started, moving the Zero miniature behind the nearest skelemen "With my glowy katana… Cuz that's how I roll."

Zero snorted next to me, taking my character sheet and writing on it.

_-That's how I roll? Really?_

"Roll the dice friendo!" Tina told me, and I rolled the dice.

I rolled a 1.

The room went dead silent.

"CRITICAL HIT!" Tina shouted as soon as she saw my disappointed face.

"Seriously?!" Axton whined.

Grinning cheerfully, I threw my first in the air "Woo! I'm awesome!" Realizing I didn't haiku, my eyes widened and I stuttered "Uh, um… I mean…"

Laughing now, Zero jotted another note on my paper.

_-A critical hit  
So very satisfying  
I live for such kills_

"Thank you," I whispered to him, before speaking louder "A critical hit, so very satisfying, I live for such kills."

"All of the skelemens have FALLEN!" Tina told us "Now you all get EXP and some lootsidoodles-"

Realization dawning upon me I stood up, slamming my fists on the table "Sorry Tina but guys I'm going out of character right now because I just realized why Zero's always so quiet and I have to share."

"I want to hear this," Salvador stated, leaning forward. Everyone minus Krieg did the same thing, equally interested in what I had to say.

"**?"**

"I bet he spends all his time just thinking about haiku's to say in every situation because that's why I've been so silent today. Haiku-ing is time consuming and takes a shit ton of thinking." I announced, the others nodding in agreement. Zero however, crossed his arms.

"You are incorrect-"

"Zero shut up I'm right and you know it."


	3. Chapter 3

_Felt like I had to post another chapter. Sadly it's not that long, or well written, and I apologize for that._

_I still gotta find a beta, but I've never been good with keeping them. X(_

~*~  
Bunkers and Badasses (With Badasses)  
Chapter 3: Passing Notes  
~*~

"You and your companions stroll into the beautiful town of 'Splosions and are greeted by their leader. A fine ass damsel by the name of Felicia Sexopants."

I held back a laugh, instead smiling kindly at the young, lively thirteen-year-old girl as she continued to explain the town of 'Splosions and its residents. As the others began going around to talk to the townspeople, Zero inconspicuously slid a note towards me.

_-I don't spend all my time thinking about haiku's. :C_

Raising an eyebrow at him in disbelief, I jotted down a reply and slid the paper back.

_-You're still going on about that? That was a whole other chapter in our lives Zero._

Scoffing, he quickly wrote down a response.

_-But you're wrong._

After reading it I looked up from the paper and joined in on the game a bit more "I'd like to see if I can convince Felicia Sexopants to let us stay in 'Splosions for the night."

"CHARISMA CHECK!" Tina announced, throwing the d20 in my direction "Talk and roll, Zero!"

"Lady Felicia,  
May my companions and I  
Please rest in your town?" I said loudly with my best Zero imitation, deepening my voice as much as I could and causing the other players to smirk, or laugh, or chuckle, or in Krieg's case say something about meat. As the others then joined in on the conversation and I finished rolling (I rolled another 1, but Tina, being the greatest bunker master ever, allowed my roll to work) I quickly wrote down another response for the ninja beside me and handed it to him with an incredulous expression on my face.

_-Well then, what's the real reason you barely talk?_

"**:D" **Appeared on his mask and he enthusiastically wrote another reply.

_-I'm too busy thinking about you._

Turning redder by the second as I saw what was written on the paper, I was too distracted to stop Tina from taking it from my hands and reading it.

"Ooooh, Zero! Hitting on our _fine _mechromancer?" the child teased, grinning at the heart emoticon that appeared on his mask.

"Wait wait wait," Axton stumbled over his words "They were passing love notes?"

"Pass it here!" Salvador beckoned with his bulky hand, the other vault hunters equally eager to see what was written. Luckily Tina had already skipped away, tearing up the note as I weakly attempted to get them to back off.

"We weren't!" I loudly argued, "We totally weren't hitting on each other!"

Luckily Zero joined me in my denial, a smile appearing on his mask as he spoke up.

"She's telling the truth,  
Gaige wasn't hitting on me.

Zero then decided that he did not wish the help, a frown appearing on my face at his next words.

"But I hit on her."

His blunt haiku caused Salvador to laugh loudly "Zero you dog!"

"I always thought she'd be the one hitting on you." Maya stated absently, playing with one of the dice scattered around the table.

"M-Maya!"

Axton scoffed "Gaige hitting on Zero? Not seriously at least. She spends most of her time with robots."

Groaning loudly, I glared at Zero "This is all your fault."

He shrugged, amusement coming off him in waves, looking towards Tina "Should we continue?"

"OBVIOUSLY."

"But if you two lovebirds are going to keep flirting, do it out loud." Maya teased, Axton pouting unhappily, obviously not wanting to hear anything about it.

Salvador nodded in agreement before returning to the game world "I approach Felicia Sexopants…"

Drowning the game out, I angrily wrote down a new note.

_-Don't joke around like that with me._

The next note he handed to me, I tossed away without reading it.

I ignored the sad face that appeared on his mask as we continued the game.


	4. Chapter 4

_Wow guys I'm so sorry it's taken me awhile to post! Life's been pretty busy, I started up a Dungeons and Dragons group and we played through our first session (I was Dungeon Master. And I am the greatest DM ever.). Not only that, but I'm writing a script for a zombie apocalypse web series! We're starting filming in a couple of weeks. Lol sorry I'm just excited about it all so I thought I'd start by telling ya'll. Anyways, here's the latest instalment of Bunkers and Badasses (With Badasses)! Sorry it isn't so long or lovely, xP My biggest inspiration is playing with my bud, and he's been too busy to play with me lately._

~*~  
Bunkers and Badasses (With Badasses)  
Chapter 4: Leveling Up  
~*~

We'd finally earned enough experience points to level up our characters, Tina passing around a ton of books for us to choose new skills for our characters. Zero and I had stopped passing notes to each other, which kind of made things a little bit extremely awkward at the table. Maya, being the first to finish leveling up her character, stood up.

"I'm going to get some snacks with us because I figure that it'll be awhile before the rest of you finish leveling up. What does everyone want?"

"CRUMPETS!" Tina shouted.

"MEAAAAAAAT!" Krieg screaming, waving his fists in the air. Axton smiled over at the siren, telling her that he'd like a beer.

Salvador grinned "I'm fine with anything, Chica!"

Writing a final thing down on my character sheet and trying to make it seem like I wasn't rushing to get out of there, I awkwardly smiled up at Maya "Can I come with? I'm done too."

Maya glanced at the ninja beside me, and I continued to stare at her pleadingly. Finally Maya nodded "Come on then, let's go. I'm guessing you want pizza?"

"Pepperoni." Zero and I said in unison, causing me to stiffen up while the Salvador and Axton laughed about us having identical minds. It seemed like eternity before Maya and I finally left the building, heading towards Moxxi's with money in our hands.

"So, mind telling me why you and Zero all of a sudden-"

"No."

"Oh come on Gaige. We both know Tina's going to notice something's up and try to fix it."

"…"

"You're becoming a lot like him you know." Maya sighed, a smile on her face "You two complement each other very well. You're becoming more and more like each other-"

I pouted "Maya…"

Maya laughed "It's not a bad thing, Gaige. And the two of you like each other a lot so… if you're worried that he's just kidding around, don't worry. The two of you are perfect for each other."

Snorting as we walked into Moxxi's bar, I replied "You have got to be kidding Maya. Me and Zero are just friends. Hi Moxxi!"

"Hey Sweetheart," the beautiful woman told me with a wink "Getting some food for Tina's little game? Hello Maya."

"Hey Moxxi," Maya greeted "Yeah, we are. Can we have some beers and a pepperoni pizza to go?"

"Sure thing Darling," Moxxi said elegantly as she went to work.

As the older woman worked on getting our food prepared, the blue-haired siren next to me continued to chatter.

"You know that a heart emoticon appears on his mask when he's looking at you sometimes, right?"

My eyes widened "Really?" I asked her, a blush forming on my cheeks.

Maya smirked "So are you just going to admit you like him or what?"

Just as I was about to argue, Moxxi walked towards us and handed me our order "Well aren't you a turning the prettiest shade of pink. Tell the boys I say hello."

Mumbling thanks, Maya and I headed back to the City Archives. Tina nearly tackled me to the floor when we returned.

"BESTIE! Everyone finished leveling up their characters AGES ago! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG SHORTY?!"


	5. Chapter 5

Yes my dears. It's that time again…  
UPDATE TIME!

Just a short update to appease the folks.

~*~  
Bunkers and Badasses (With Badasses)  
Chapter 5: Traps  
~*~

No this was not happening. It couldn't be happening.

"DAMN IT TINA WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?"

"YOU TWO FELL INTO A TRAP AND NOW WE'RE LOCKING THE TWO OF YOU IN A CLOSET BECAUSE YOU'RE TRAPPED TOGETHER SO DEAL WITH IT BESTIE."

"TINA, NO! NO! ZERO WHY ARE YOU JUST LETTING THEM DO THIS?!"

A shrug.

"MAYA! AXTON! SALVADOR!" I paused "KRIEG! ANYONE, HELP!"

"_Tina are you sure that this is a good idea?"_

"_Oh of course I am Shorty. They be in loooove."_

"_I think it's hilarious!"_

"FUCK YOU SALVADOR!"

"_Go screw Zero already, Niña Chiquita."_

"_WHY ARE WE LOCKING THEM TOGETHER IF THE LITTLE ONE DOESN'T WANT?!"_

"_Because, Krieg, they art in lurve. Therefore, as Sir Reginald isn't here to help, we must."_

Now sealed in the closet with the ninja, I slumped against the wall, my head hitting the door loudly.

"Gaige, it's not that bad.  
We won't be locked in here long.  
They'll let us out soon."

"I bet you suggested this to Tina while I was out getting foodage." I accused, jabbing Zero's chest with my finger "

"**:D" **Zero shrugged once more "Maybe."

Defeated, I sat down on the cold flooring and sighed "Fine."

"…"

"…"

"That is it?"

"You're the one that wanted to be sealed in a closet with me" And if it was my idea I'd be totally down for it too "so you start talking, mister."

"…"

"You don't know what to say, do you?"

"Not a clue."

"You know, for a guy that can make up badass haiku's in seconds, you're pretty bad at talking to girls."

"Only beautiful ones."

"…"

"Proving you wrong."


	6. Chapter 6

_So ummm… I almost made this the last chapter._

_Almost._

_Then my good, handy forum friends helped me write myself OUT of that closet. :P I'm sorry it's short and junk. But I'm trying to challenge myself._

_A certain scene in this chapter took me half an hour to write and I was like murdering myself during it._

~*~  
Bunkers and Badasses (With Badasses)  
Chapter 6: In/Out Game Romance  
~*~

"Proving me wrong?" I forced out, feigning confidence "Pfft, naw bro. You are not as charming as you think you are."

"**:("**

Through the small cracks of light that seeped into the closet I could barely see him sit down. We sat on two separate sides of the closet, and while I still felt a little bit awkward I was glad he wasn't making any drastic moves on me. Letting out a sigh, I opened my mouth to ask him how long he thought that the others would keep us locked inside.

And then all of a sudden he was right in front of me, a gloved hand touched my face and my brain shut down for a moment. As soon as I could register what was happening I could feel the softness of his lips on mine, gentle, warmth radiating off of him. His arms were on either side of me, and I could feel his smirk as I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck and laced my fingers into the soft, silky locks of his hair.

It was over too soon, Zero pulling away from me with an amused chuckle while I breathed heavily, cheeks flushed. With my limited vision I could see him pull his helmet back on as Maya opened the closet door.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" She asked us, smirking at me knowingly when I pushed past her and back into the main room where the others continued playing, Salvador snickering at me when he saw my face, grabbing the character miniatures of Zero and I and pressing them together.

"Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah." Salvador teased, laughing harder when I glared at him "Chiquita, with your face as red as it is right now, your glare is not very intimidating at all."

Zero passed by me, a **":)" **on his mask when he sat in his seat "I think it's cute."

Scowling, Axton crossed his arms "Can we just continue playing please?"

"I agree." I grumbled, glaring at Zero from the corner of my eye. He turned towards me, smug.

"**o3o"**

My jaw dropped and I punched his arm "Zero!" I hissed "Stop it."

"Zero what are you talking about?" He asked me innocently, and I grumbled quietly in my seat.

"Whatever,_ Gaige._"

I just didn't want things to change, couldn't he understand that?

Tina stared at me, face blank, which I found unnerving. Where was the usual smile that was on her face?

"You ok Tina?" I asked her, to which she forced a grin onto her face.

"What? Bestie you gots to be kidding. LET'S KEEP PLAYING!"


End file.
